Post a link to your paper and commence in peer review. Each student will be evaluated in terms of his or her contribution to peer review. Collectively, the group will be evaluated on two criteria:
A. the quality of the titles and abstracts submitted: 1st place 5 points; 2nd place 4 points; 3rd place 3 points; 4th place 2 points; 5th place 1 point
B. the quality of the peer reviews completed: 1st place 15 points; 2nd place 10 points; 3rd place 8 points; 4th place 4 points; 5th place 2 points
How to post a link to your paper.
1. Log into your Google account or another account that allows for cloud storage.
2. Click on Drive. (It should be in a menu near the top left corner)
3. Click on New / File Upload
4. Pick your ethnography paper and upload it
5. click share
6. click advanced
7. click 'change'
8. move it to 'anyone with link'
9. click save
10. copy the URL and paste it to this board
Above your link, you are to give your paper a title and create an abstract. Following the abstract, you should detail some of your concerns with your paper as it currently stands. Give plenty of details so as to help your group do a better job with your review. Make sure your abstract is distinctly separated from your concerns.
There is a peer review sheet available to help you review the work of your peers, but you don't have to use this peer review handout. This peer review will count for more than 20% of your overall participation grade for the course, so this is a great opportunity to shine at the end. To put it into context: as of now, there are 135 points currently available for participation. This assignment is worth 40 participation points. I am going to carefully read all of the feedback in this forum to evaluate the quality of the peer review. The team that scores the highest average will earn 1st place, second highest will get second place, and so on.
The best feedback will be specific and will be tailored to help the writer improve his or her draft.
May the best team win.
Elitism in Minecraft
ReplyDeleteMy paper looks into why elitism occurs in a Minecraft community. It looks into the causes of elitism in the community called Brohoof, what the direct consequences of elitism were, and what the community staff did about it.
My concerns about this paper is that my terms are not clearly defined, and that there is little evidence to actually support my claim.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h45TvLyKFU_6hlL9bK5xcK6zgV6pRdtMiUFQlV01ixM/edit?usp=sharing
Your paper was written well! Your organization of the sections were a good touch. Although, I do see some room for improvement or words of advice. First off, I feel your argument fell more on sided as you were in agreement with that Minecraft is indeed elitist. Make your essay more centered with just the questions at hand and place the facts into place so the reader can decide if it's considered elitism. Because I'm sure many players of Minecraft would firmly believe that it's not an elitism concept going on. Also, I feel you need more quotes that go along with the discourse you are presenting. I only saw one quote from one of the Admimins you described about his opinion. I saw no quotes or takeaways from the new players or the people that are in the middle levels. Try to get some quotes from the newer and middle level players to make your point stronger to help the readers understand that it is in fact an issue on both sides of the spectrum. Finally, give a stronger closing as I felt a little cut short. Try to add some rhetorical analytical points for the readers to walk away to put emphasize on what you want to get across and make the reader hungry to learn or research more in general about Minecraft.
DeleteYour paper does a good job of describing everything it is talking about, but does not develop a clear enough point. To me, there was not enough information describing what exactly you are analyzing, but rather has 2-3 central points it seems to focus around. I would recommend clarifying exactly what you are trying to argue earlier in the paper, and be sure to keep the rest of the paper on topic with that given point. It may also be beneficial to add quotes and specific examples of things that have happened to give a better picture of exactly what the issue is.
DeleteYour paper does a good job of describing your community and what it is all about. You also do a good job of describing what you are analyzing within the community. I feel that you did not ever really get to a point in which the thing you were analyzing really manifested within your essay. You should really talk about how the people who were being elitists got to the point where they thought that was allowed of them because of power or seniority. I would recommend going back and inserting quotes within the paper to strengthen your point.
DeleteYour Paper is good in the explanation on elitism and the explanation of the 5 types of users. I think you should tie your many claims into one overall claim to cover the lack of clarity. You should include some direct conversation among the users on the forum. By giving examples of actual conversation the reader can get a better feel of what is taking place. There are several grammatical errors throughout the piece but those are easy to fix. Once you fix up the clarity of your overall claim you should be able to present a well written piece.
DeleteDraft Kings
ReplyDeleteMy paper is an inside look on the infamous fantasy sports generator. I go in depth about if the "playbook" write up forums give players an advantage to win money or if its just a good marketing strategy to gain more customers/players.
My main concern is if my evidence and analysis doesn't sound biased or one sided on the question presented. I have a lot of strong support and evidence but I'm not sure if I'm favoring a side.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B2mcPWnjWa8wU1V4d0lWb0FtOFU/view?usp=sharing
While your paper does a very good job of describing what the guides are, and how they are used, it does not have as much analysis on how and why Draft Kings publishes them. It would help if you went into more detail about why Draft Kings would want and allow these guides on their site, and what benefits the people writing the articles get. It could also be beneficial to explain how these guides could lure more people in to play, and how often it helps out the user as opposed to the company. I also think you should explain how the site works, and how they make money off of it in order to add context to the articles and what the users are using them for. To me, it seems like you are slightly favoring Draft Kings side in the overall argument, but not enough as to where it would be a problem.
DeleteHere is your peer review
Deletehttps://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3rqB92yFzOLNXdlQy00eVlROUU/view?usp=sharing
and your paper
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MVefKs2Ies0j-oX_HD3qy2gWRjntKbwXCguvOYz5mRg/edit?usp=sharing
Your analysis on how what Draft Kings does and their purpose of operation is spot on. The explanation of the write ups are good as well but I agree with Bradley that you should explain more why Draft Kings allows these articles to be published on their Writers Page. You can also maybe create subsections on each of your points. This paper is pretty well written and should receive a good grade with a little more explanation on the connection between the outside writers and Draft kings itself.
DeleteAll about Bleacher Report
ReplyDeleteThe community Bleacher Report is a sports based website that posts up to date articles on events in the sports world as well as opinionated articles on certain controversial and debatable topics in sports. My research is based on how people interact with each other on the comments forum.
My concerns would have to be that I may not have enough evidence because it is hard to explain every single comment for a particular post.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzC7C9A4fNEnUE5OYUVfdkdoRkU/view?usp=sharing
The description of Bleacher Report in the beginning is useful to set up context for the rest of the paper, but I would recommend reading through it again, because there are some grammatical errors that make it harder to understand. In terms of the analysis of your question, I think it would be useful to state the two types of comments in the essay before you go into describing them. This way you can set up your point earlier and use the examples to help convey the main idea. Overall, the paper seems like it needs to be organized more, and does not flow really well as it is. I would also recommend adding more examples to argue your point, along with adding quotes, because it seems very limited as it is currently.
DeleteI agree with Bradly. The paper, especially the opening paragraph gave me a great idea on what the argument was about. Also, the paper to me flowed really well. Your points stayed parallel and the exchange of ideas was fine. But I will say that more examples are needed in the sense of full statements that the people used. I'm sure people did just comment "moron" and "stupid" but I am sure you can find better examples. Also, I think you should definitely add in what the bleacher report people who control the articles and comments further did about the issues. Do you feel you can acknowledge if the editors are trying to change how they write the articles to not get so much disputes? Are the articles really and truly factual if so many people are disagreeing and getting upset? Just some things to think about and consider. But overall, the paper is good just needs some touch ups. I think the questions will help.
DeleteHere is your peer review
Deletehttps://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3rqB92yFzOLWHNVeEdFQUllcnM/view?usp=sharing
and your paper
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QeMDI_JjRVu-xay_dEVWq7gH5VDazJBYDHhmw1hsvP4/edit
Like Jon and Bradley i really thought your description of Bleacher Report and what your are analyzing. However the reading was a little difficult because of the grammatical errors that were present in the paper. It would be beneficial to add comments that have more content in them as compared to "moron" and "stupid". You should add add some more examples of what you are trying to study. Overall it was a good essay that needs some refining.
DeleteBiases in Sports Conversation
ReplyDeleteMy paper analyzes different biases that may come up in conversation among sports fans of rivaling teams. It explains why these biases exist, and to what extent people actually care about them being there. It also shows how people react to each of the different biases in terms of how much they are recognized.
My concern is in any flaws in logic and arguments that are used, as well as any information that may be misstated or misused. With how many examples I used, it would be easy to mess up or misunderstand some of what was used.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JOs6ezQb8yXgIRwPWYPmTzobx3yCAXN0SV2keAG-2pE/edit?usp=sharing
This essay is written beautifully! The set up of it by way of the section was a smart idea. Each section stayed on topic and did the paragraph justice for what it was titled. Furthermore, The amount of evidence and examples you provided was more than enough! But, I would like to see some "direct quotations" about the certain conversations instead of just paraphrasing all of it. The direct quotations will give the reader more insight on how the commenters are really feeling and saying. But overall the paper is really good! Enjoyed reading it!
DeleteHere is your peer review
Deletehttps://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3rqB92yFzOLYzZZSlVhTjhpYUE/view?usp=sharing
and your paper
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IyG3QzuzvvDVscTwSL5GeF08Q9SkxadzTJ8vs0bDllY/edit?usp=sharing
This was a very well written essay. You had great organization and made it very easy for your readers to be able to tell what you were trying to convey. One thing that you are missing from the paper is direct quotations from the conversations that you are analyzing because it would help to create context and provide solid examples of what you are conveying. I enjoyed reading your paper and it gave me good ideas of how to continue writing my paper.
DeleteYour paper was extremely well written. The subsections for each type of bias was spot on and really helped the essay flow from point to point. You really did a good job of explaining each situation and why each fan of certain teams would think a certain way. Adding some examples of direct conversation for each subsection would definitely help and some more elaboration of direct conversation between fans. Also the debate about running the ball is a good point but Marshawn Lynch had double digit rushing touchdowns for 4 straight seasons is a reason people believe he should ran the ball, so maybe you can include that as a piece of evidence in your paper.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteInteractions on MLB Trade Rumors Based on Team Affiliation
ReplyDeleteMy paper analyzes how people interact within the community based on how they affiliate with teams and how people express their affiliation. It explains how people interact with other people who affiliate with both the same and different teams, as well as how people talk about their teams during good and bad times.
My concern is that it does not show what I am trying to accomplish very well and that it has weak arguments. I also do not know how i could use more examples within the paper.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0Y6xe5EsiopZ0JNdHJzajZKd28/view?usp=sharing
First off, I would recommend renaming the paper to something more along the lines of how team affiliation affects those fans in general. Your paper seems to talk equally about how the fans treat their own teams as how they talk about trade rumors, so specifying the title makes part of the paper seem out of place. It also ends very abruptly, so I would recommend adding a summary or at least a new ending that makes it clearer that the paper is done, because I was expecting to see another page beneath the ending. I would also recommend going more into detail about the interaction between fans of different teams as opposed to interactions among the same fan base, as it could give useful insight as to how each of the different teams fans’ are looked upon, and why they may act the way they do, like in the case of Mets fans. In the case of the trade rumors, it would also be useful to see how non-Padres fans react to the news, because the current argument only shows that fans of the same team can react differently to the same news. Showing what other teams’ fans think can add context to how the specific teams’ fans are reacting, and would set up a better analysis of your question.
DeleteHere is your peer review
Deletehttps://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3rqB92yFzOLcnI4Qk8wUEREV2s/view?usp=sharing
and your paper
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jPsFvS5gAqHAHj7C02zUUnsVw-GbE1z7A5ssDS3p5Oc/edit?usp=sharing
Your Paper starts off very strong in explaining MLB Trade Rumors and what they do. The explanation of the Kemp story and the disagreement among 2 fans was great. Your example of the Yankees and Mets fans referring themselves as "we" or "them" was very good as well but the paper seemed to just end out of nowhere. Like Bradley said you can add a section about Fans from different fan bases discussing an article. Also Ken Rosenthal works for Fox Sports and not ESPN just to let you know so you can fix that. A few more improvements to the end of the paper will make it better.
DeleteThe paper has a great view on what you are trying to accomplish. It's got a strong beginning, dives right into the topic at hand, but then suddenly just stops. When I came to the end of the paper I was really surprised that was the end of the paper. I am not sure if you ran out of time to finish the paper when the draft date was due to post it here online or not. But either way, the essay definitely needs more in depth analysis as your second paragraph was. Also, finish or add onto the current stuff you have written and make a conclusion or analysis about the whole argument at hand to give some type of closure to readers.
ReplyDelete